LAN Survival Guide 2

Some of you may be wondering if this is serious, well it is. LAN Party events are  a battle both mentally and physically… follow these tips and you might come out the otherside alive!
Sleeping arranagments: 

Living Essentials (things you really need to live?)

  • Pillow – “Doubles up as posterior cushion, and also as a carrier of pink eye when you later use as sleeping pillow. Can also be used during transport to protect your sacred monitor. We recommend the following Trekmates pillow”
  • Chair – “If you have one, bring it. 99% of back issues at LANS are not caused by the cold floor you might sleep on, but simply all venues are cheapskates with there chairs! You’ll feel better for it I promise ^^”
  • Washbag – “Shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodarant, tampons? Generally anything a normal human requires to maintain a good hygenic standing. We recommend one of these it is a pretty awesome hang down wash bag that you can fit quite a bit in!”
  • Towel – “Do you want to use that awkward towel found in the toilets.. I wouldn’t! Carry it around at all times around your neck, crucial for 4AM Face washing!”
  • More than one set of clothes. – “Seriously, change change change, with the current state of gamers.. walking to the venue and carrying gear will require at least 2 sets before the event even starts!”
  • Toilet Roll – “No event will ever have good double quilt, treat yourself. You’ll thank me later.”
  • Mini fridge – “Check with the event first, but.. most places should be okay with you having a cooler to keep your drinks cooled in. One of our sponsors has a cool range of thermos products I suggest you check out there awesome cool boxes.”
  • Cup or glass – “Never trust those washed or provided at LANS, you don’t know if they have even been cleaned :D And you know what’s yours to wash!”
  • Knife, fork, spoon, little spoon – “Same principal, lanners are dirty people! Common sense guys, you want food? Eat using dirty cutlery or simply bring your own!”
  • Coffee, tea, milk, sugar – “Some events will provide this, but bring some and share it out. Lanners will repay you with offers of food and high fives, if you have one.. filtered coffee makers <3″
  • Mobile phone – “In case you need to call someone? Like.. if you get stuck in the toilet?”
  • Slippers – “Comfy and protect your feet from the dreaded LAN toilets, after 5 monsters.. most gamers have the piss coordination of a paralytic drunk. Be warned. Don’t walk bare foot in toilets, ever.”
  • Comfy clothes – “Roll in comfort, fuck the haters. PJ’s and Dressing gown.”
  • Big comfy top or fleece – “Lans can be warm.. when people are awake, what happens when you need a smoke at 3AM. Don’t be a fool, wrap up warm.”
  • Wallet and cash – “We recommend £30 – £40, just incase cigarettes/milk/food/hookers and other delivery style items (drugs / pizza).”
  • Baby wipes – “Replacement for showers, provides amazing hygenic standing! (Also good for cleaning keyboard / desk)”
  • Hand sanitizer – “Hand santizer is great for keeping your hands hygenic at an event where you will end up touching controllers etc that other people might own.”
  • Thermos – “You could get a thermos so you can keep your coffee or drink  cool or warm, and means you have to get up less! has a big selection, if you are interested in purchasing one.”


  • Haz Mat suit, with filtration system – “LAN Party events can get bad, avoid ever leaving your desk with a built in filtration system for poo and urine. amazon have an awesome braniac one, we liked because that’s ultimate nerdiness.”
  • Mints – “To ward off the bad breath, and to help remove the sugary taste from your mouth after toooo much sugar!!! Generally chewing gum is also pretty nice to keep you going through the early hours. ” – iPatch of

Technical Stuff?

  • Flash drives – “useful for passing around files that are small enough to pop on a little drive and can also be used to store your drivers and  windows install on should something go wrong! Did you know that kingston now sell a 1TB memory stick? But we think the 32gb traveler from Kingston is more than enough for day to day use
  • External USB hard drive – “sometimes it’s just faster and more convenient to transfer files to the guy next to you that way than eat the bandwidth on the network. Something slim is usually easier to use than a large hardrive we recommend these, cheap and cheerful! “
  • Blank CDs / DVDs – “just in case you need to burn yourself of an ISO of Memtest or windows 7!”
  • CD marker pen – “just in case you forget which DVD is your porn and which is Windows!”
  • Ordinary pen – “to write important stuff down (like loljk your headphones are hiding from you! Try and find them!!!)!”
  • Paper – “ordinary paper, for use with ordinary pen.”
  • Headphones or headset – “In ears are great for large LANS where it might be  loud, remember not to play full blast dubstep on your cool headphones.. you’ll only piss people off!”
  • Powered USB hub – “Essential for if you can’t be bothered to reach around to the back of your desktop.. OR you have a laptop with 1 fail of a USB port”
  • Screwdriver – “Preferably with multiheads, for dismantling your machine if you have a problem.”
  • Torch – “Yes, for when the lights go out and it’s NOT a movie badguy. Sometimes that electric junction box just has to pop”
  • 3G dongle or 3G phone with internet connection sharing – “because everyone thinks they have up-to-date drivers for their graphics card and are wrong. Also good for watching dodgy far-east TV streaming websites to see the football. Also good for updating Steam to the correct version because you forgot to do it the night before and going offline or for activating games to play offline.”
  • Camera – “You may have one on your phone but image quality is usually pap and even though I usually bring along an EOS350D to get some great snaps of the event I may forget, or decide not to take your picture if you are ugly.”
  • Can of compressed air – “great for removing dust bunnies that have built up in the PC over the year and the LAN is the only time you ever take the side off to feed them carrots.”

The obvious? (Although sometimes missed, seriously!!)

  • PC or laptop – “Yes seriously, you will need something to game on! Don’t bring a console to a PC LAN chances are you might get laughed at.. “
  • Monitor – “VGA, DVI or HDMI cable, don’t forget it as no one will have a spare cable.”
  • Keyboard – “Make sure to bring the most ghetto looking keyboard, people are always scared of the guy with the ghetto equipment.”
  • Mouse – “Sometimes overlooked, make sure it’s a good quality gaming mouse!”
  • Mousemat – “The bigger the better, everyone loves there side of the desk being invaded!”
  • Headset – “Communication is key.”
  • Power cables – “Does this need explaining! :D”
  • Ethernet cable – “Just in  case you have a problem with the LANS cables.. better to know you have a backup (5-10m / cat6)
  • Wi-Fi adapter – “For when you find wifi at a LAN and every person starts eating there bandwith for steam updates.”
  • Additional HDD space – “Everyone knows why people go to LANS do I need to explain?  Space for games you might install over the weekend is always needed ………”
  • Multiplug surge strip – “Most events will provide you a plug to connect your multisocket, I prefer belkin.. surge protected.. you never know how dodgy the network will be!”

 What to leave?

  • Speakers – “Sound @ LAN = Instant way to be hated.”
  • UPS -“You’ll blow something up.”
  • Condoms – “You probably won’t need them.”
  • Sanity – “I’d not take any sanity to a LAN you’ll only lose it…”
  • Stress – “No one likes a ragey gamer.”
  • Rage – “^ No one likes a stressy ragey gamer.”
  • Class A / B / C / D /E / F drugs – “No drugs at LANS.. come on guys.”

I’ve spent some time posting this around the internet, and asked for anyone to contribute! So here is some advice:

“Kustom PC – Latency”

The 6 – 2 – 1 rule

“6 hours of sleep -Some people can get away with less, but you’ll be a lot more focused on the game with at least six.

2 meals – If you can do 3, then so much the better. Snacks are not meals. Eat something appropriate breakfast/lunch and something appropriate for dinner, and you’ll feel better and more focused.
A microwave meal is not breakfast.
Sugar, energy drinks, and sweets are fine for snacking, but if it’s all you eat you’re going to feel ill before you’re half way into the event.

1 shower -LAN parties don’t have to be health hazards, just a shocking amount of people perpetuate the stereotypical nerd/geek by failing to look after themselves.

And yes this is the same rule as used for conventions- works for all kinds of events!”

Hunter – I Have to say this is an amazing way to standardize the madness that is self care at LANS! GG621, to add to the 1 shower rule? If you can’t get to a shower.. dry shampoo and baby wipes are your best friend

“Reddit – Adenansu”

The bag guy rule! 

“I keep a bag at home with a full set of extra cables. power, dvi, network, etc. why? i can leave my cables at home exactly where they are, and I’ve already got the most annoying to pack things taken care of. Tear down/setup back at home is much quicker. People call me “bag guy” when attending events, but I swear every time I go, I lend most of the bag to people who “forgot” their stuff.”

Hunter – I have to say that extra cables  never hurt !

What to remember? 

To have fun, don’t be an idiot. And be outgoing :) meet new people!

Thankyou to the original author over at Apache LANS – Slightly tweaked your guide :)

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2 thoughts on “LAN Survival Guide

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    I have minorly editted the original document to include some updated information, but most of the data is still valid. Glad to see my original guide has broken free and is living in the wild.